Ariel's English writing Blog

Journal for Research Blog

Jing — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 03:08:01 +0000

I had a personal blog to keep my dairies on that, but that was ashamed that I didn’t keep this habit. I am so glad that I finally keep a blog a semester long, though that is like a homework work book which I have to work on all the time, but it is still an online blog.

In general, having this blog for English class is a progress for English teaching method. First, there are much more fun than using blackboard and it is easier to submit and revise my homework. I never feel boring when I look at my own blog, even other classmates’ blogs. We can put on photos and change the appearance to make it unique from others’ blogs. These are just like a bunch of neat notebooks, what on there are works have been done by myself, but unlike other homework books of mine, I don’t feel bothered to re-read this blog. Looking back on old pieces is definitely a wise way to do self-reflection.

Second, I like using the blog because all the students in this class can learn from each other in an open way. Whoever feels having difficulties on writing, this person could look at other classmates’ blog and find some hints. In class, we can easily read each other’s essay and comments on that. Reading others’ work and comparing that to my own work is a very effective way to improve my writing. Because when I find what they have been done so well, I will think about if I can also use those techniques in my blog; when I find the lack of their essays, I will point that out in my comment and I will warm myself to avoid same kind of problems. I like my comments on others’ blogs even more than my own blog posts. Because when I analyze others’ works, I feel my ideas flow very fluently. What is the good part and what is the not good part, what is my suggestion on revising, I know exactly want I want to write step by step.

Third, it is convenient to add media on the blog which is quite crucial for some of my homework. Like in my ethnography, I need to show my audience what is the place I want to write about looks like and how does it constructed. And in my Rhetorical Analysis, I need to illustrate the advertising as my object. In the traditional way, putting pictures in a word document would be too informal for academic writing. Sometime the format and technology limitations block writer in a narrow way and bring disadvantages to writers on building their rhetoric. But illustrating pictures is a common way to write a blog. I feel free to add pictures and other media on my pages and the pages still clear and readable for any audience, and because of the media, they can understand my writing better.

It is not easy for me to pick up a post which I think is the best. Like I said before, I prefer the comments I leave on others’ blog than my own post. But if there must be a best one, my “introduction for Rhetorical Analysis” should be the one. It includes good attention getter which I use all the way till my finial draft and the basic idea of my thesis for this paper. I still remember that I wrote it in class just within short period of time, as soon as I finished it, I felt confident about the construction. I always hope I can do most of my post as this one, quick, fluent and well organized.

However the inspiration does not happen all the time. I don’t like most of my post because they are messy and don’t involve much valuable ideas even I tried so hard to make them look meaningful. When we look at each other’s blog in class, I always feel others did better job than I did, their word choices were good, and their ideas were unique. I think I am certainly not a good fast-time writer, in a given period of time, I always feel bothered by outside noisy and could not concentrate on my thought. That is why I just can hand in some rush writing every time. However, I don’t hate these writing because to produce an “A” essay needs a long process; and the basic steps are all about rush ideas and rush drafts. To be pushed to write is a tough process to go through, but when every time I finish a task, I am one closer to the destination. In this way, I should highly value all the work I have been done.

Free writing

Jing — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 15:36:24 +0000

I have done three pages of my self-reflection last night. I set up a good foundation for the reflection which shows the whole paper has three sub points, but I haven’t finished it yet. The more important thing I want to talk about is the revising of my previous papers. I feel difficult to revise my ethnography, because the thesis in the paper now is quite unclear, and I find it is even hard for me to improve it. My thoughts about it are still on a messy level which they should not be like that. And I kind of come up a relative main point now, but I find I have so much part I need to rewrite. For my public discourse, I really agree with what you point out that my audience is not clear. I think about it and I feel bad because I realize that I do write to both university and college students, which I should just focus on one audience. Now my difficulty is that I cannot delete any of my two sections, that would be half of my essay, but I cannot tight one section up to another.

Course Objectives

Jing — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 18:51:46 +0000

In this class, I learned a lot about rhetorical knowledge. At the beginning, I was quite confused about what is rhetoric, since the true meaning of this word in English is fairly different from the translation of this word in my native language. Therefore, first understand rhetoric is a behavior to make convincement is the biggest progress for me on this point and a great beginning for me to start learn about rhetoric. During the days I research and write for my rhetorical analysis essay, I realized that not just presidents’ publish speeches on TV and those popular videos are powerful, but those soundless medias, like pictures and paraphrase, could also be powerful. Like the object used in my rhetorical analysis, the advertising used persuasive picture and words to recommend their product. If I don’t have knowledge about rhetoric, I will not be able to analyze the advertising closely and objectively, and finally notice the ad is far more powerful than I used to think. In the future, I will use the same technique to understand and analyze all the books, ads, video, even news I see. In this way, I believe I can do better on understanding this world.

To be more specific, when I first see the advertising, I just feel good about seeing an elegant woman in a magazine, but I cannot clearly say why. If I want to explain my own feeling, even to myself, I have to talk more about details. I ask myself as an audience, why the woman in the advertising looks elegant? Then I start to realize that is because of her dress, her diamond ring, her hair and hair cigarette, which is exactly the focus of this rhetoric. After all these observation and analysis, I can explain this advertising at a new level.

Bubble map

Jing — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 16:04:57 +0000

On the top is my main point and I created three sub points as following. And for each point, I analyze it in two parts.

Free writing about organization

Jing — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 15:25:52 +0000

I organize my public discourse in a really general way. In the introduction paragraph, I point out three sub point and write the following parts by the order I give. In this case, I think I organize well. However, I find it is difficult for me to use external resources to support my points. One of the reason that happen is I changed my topic a little, all my resources in bibliography are about teenagers, but now I am writing for Miami students, thus most of the articles and books are quit irrelevant, and I need to do new research. I feel so upset about it. Other reason is even I have materiel, I don’t know where to put it like when I have photo shoot and don’t know where to put my hands.

Introduction

Jing — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 16:51:09 +0000

In this highly developed world, much more people have opportunity to enjoy education and learning knowledge of hygiene than the old era. Under such a circumstance, it is hard to explain why people maintain many unhealthy addictions from generation to generation, for instance, smoking cigarettes. In fact, Miami University, in which all the students are well educated in their high school, there are still many young college smokers could be seen on campus even Miami is a school strictly forbidding all kinds smoking. Students who smoke on campus who ever been caught will receive a big fine for disobey the rule, however, students who addicted to smoke still would take the risk fulfill their nicotine desire. Hence, it seems just enforcing a forbiddance doesn’t really works well, whereas, educated students more and holding more program to help should be important complements to this rule.

Dialog

Jing — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 01:24:28 +0000

Conner: Excuse me, Sir. I sorry to be so rude, but do you aware this is a public place that you should not smoke here?

Chuck: oh, I…I am sorry. I guess I will move out to finish it.

Conner: Please cut off the cigarette and let me talk to you. I am Doctor Conner and I do research about tobacco problem and teenagers for years. I know you are not a teen and have right to make your own decision, but smoking is not just influence you, you are just spreading nicotine in this place and there are kids sitting there. Sir, you should really consider to quit smoking.

Chuck: Well Dr. Conner, I apologize for my behavior but I don’t feel sorry because I am a smoker. I am an educated person and I know that nicotine just uses ten seconds to affect my brain; I know for the benefit of health, I should quit. BUT, Dr. Conner, you are a middle-age man, I am sure you know what life is. It is hard and people are lonely, there are so many things even worse than getting asthma, and there are so many things even more important than health. If smoking is a way of solving problems for life and makes it better off, than I will chose to live with it.

Jessica: Nice speech! Dr. Conner, I don’t know you have a friend has Camel profile. Hello, I am Dr. Conner’s patient, Jessica.

Conner: Actually, we just met, I am trying to convince him not to smoke anymore, and stop being a model of kids like you. I don’t want more patients. Right? Mr. ?

Chuck: Call me Chuck. So Jessica, you are a teen smoker?

Jessica: Literality, I smoke, but I am not a smoker. I am not that kind of students who smoke, skip classes and cannot be trusted by others. I smoked because I agree with what you just said. I know I am too young to say so, but youth doesn’t make my life easier and happier. I have my own trouble and sadness too. I only smoked when I felt lonely and I was over-stressed. I had struggled because I really don’t want to be a smoker, that’s why I found Dr. Conner to help me.

Conner: Yes. Jessica has been cured very well. Trust me, Chuck, I totally understand what you just saying. I was a loyal Camel smoker too, before the birth of my child. I lighted up all the time, driving, walking, and speaking. I didn’t even think about quit, though I was a doctor. However, I am a father now, this is the circumstance that I have to leave my cigarettes, because I have to protect my weak little girl. The nicotine on my cloth even is harmful to her. And when she grows up, I don’t want to be one of the parents who bring tobacco to their kids’ life. One day you will be a father too, think about it.

Chuck: Haha, I really doubt about it. I am still a bachelor now. But I will consider you suggestion. Just this is an addiction to me now, it is not that easy.

Zhiyi: Than try to find something more meaningful.

Jessica: Hey, Zhiyi, you are here. This is my great friend Zhiyi and she has been so supported during my treatment Dr. Conner.

Conner: Thank you! Zhiyi, as Jessica’s doctor I have to thank you for your help.

Zhiyi: No need to thank me doctor. I just want to back up my friend. In fact, I had a hard time to fight with my own thought about to smoke or not. Living and studying in a foreign country by all me is not easy for my age. There were some times I felt I could not hang on for any longer and I need a way to relief all these pain. I thought about smoking, I believe this is the first thing everyone would think about when the one feel desperate. But being a female smoker is definitely an ashamed thing to do, especially in my culture. Thus I choose to talk more with my friend and take a walk when I want to smoke; and I learn Buddhism, learning makes my life richer and fuller. I believe smoking is just a life style being chosen by a lot of people, but it is not a wise choice. I think smoking is a problem more related to psychological risk than physical harmfulness. Helping smokers would be easier if we start with metal therapy, and health is the last thing we would talk about.

My audience Jessica

Jing — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 16:49:44 +0000

Jessica born in a wealthy family but she is lonely since she was a kid, because her parents are always really busy on running their family business. She was taking cared by her nanny, and she had dinner along for years. She is lonely but still tries hard to be a good daughter and good students. Until her high school, she was still the proud of her parents. However, the loneliness which had been accumulated for years broke out, she felt painful to find a solution, and thus she started to smoke. She knows smoking is harmful to health, but she doesn’t know enough. She believes smoking is just a way to relief her pressure and nothing more, smoking would not change a slight of her life. She still behavior as she used to be even after she picked up cigarettes as her new friends. After school, on the balcony, best time and place for her smoking, she reminds herself all the time that she could smoking but she would not be a smoker. If she can find a better way to be happy again, she will definitely give up this solution.

Myself

Jing — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 16:34:30 +0000

Character based on myself:

Zhiyi is in her early 20s, she is girl who born in late 80s, grown up in an environment which had involved many new cultures and western cultures, she joined the big oversea students group and studying in the US. Though she values traditional Confucius ideas a lot, but she also accepts the new era life style as she sees in the US. Living along abroad makes her life really tough, thus she is an educated person who clearly know what tobacco would influence people‘s life, but meantime, she also starts to understand the reason why people smoking is because life is hard and it tortures people. Sometime people would rather hurt themselves to find relief than just living in a healthy but depress life.

Two “made up” people: Chuck and Conner

Jing — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 00:57:31 +0000

Fitzgerald, James. The Joys of Smoking Cigarettes. New York: Harper Entertainment, 2007.

One person, I would call Chuck, is from the book “Joy of smoking cigarettes.” He is the Camel profile man like the author James describe in his book, he might even be the author’s friend, so some of the sections of the book might inspired by Chuck. He is a Camel smoker, “he waters his backyard by hand, avoiding sprinkler systems, drinks his American beer form the bottle, and even though he goes to bed late hi is an early riser…. wears khakis in the summer months and bright down vests in the winter. He boasts of his sit-up stamina, rarely dates the same woman more than three times, and listen to vintage metal in his weekend pickup as he just “drives around”.” (James 83) Chuck might be a Christian, he has been educated in college for years but then since he is very artistic, he decided to visit around the country and learned things for life. He is in the middle of 30s, and has a good income for his bachelor life.

Snell, Clete. Peddling Poison: The Tobacco Industry and Kids. Criminal justice, delinquency, and corrections. Westport, Conn: Praeger, 2005.

While Conner is a middle age father who has a cute little daughter. He used to smoke even though he was a well educated doctor. But since the coming of his little girl, he quit his bad habit because he knows how bad nicotine could hurt baby and he never picks this addiction up again. He doesn’t want to smell gross and be hated by his family. Now he changes bright and ironed shirt every day, he always looks fresh and happy. He believes that healthy life style is the best choice for him and his family. Moreover, he doesn’t just stop this faith in his mind; he is doing research about tobacco harmfulness and published many articles about how tobacco can hurt kids. He tries really hard to get attention from the society to this problem. As a parent, he doesn’t want to see any kid who is just as young and cute as his child has been influenced by nicotine poison.